One (Alone Book 3) Page 11

  “What’s up?” He asked.

  “I just don’t want to lose you”, she sniffed.

  “You won’t, I’ll always be with you whatever happens”.

  She looked away from him, he didn’t get it like she did, he didn’t see what she saw, “I just wish we could go off and just live happily for a while until…”

  “They unleash the deadlier virus?” He said, “No way we have to go on, for everyone, it’s our duty, our destiny”.

  “But why? Why can’t we do something for us?”

  “Because it’s not in our nature”, he smiled pulling her close, “How long do we have together?”

  She tensed and said nothing.

  “Oh…Not long then?”

  Again nothing.

  “I love you”.

  “I love you too”, she held onto him so tight and thought to herself, if things could change for me and Stacie then why can’t I change things for me and Ollie? She knew she shouldn’t but she had to try, maybe she could keep him for just that little bit longer.

  They headed back to where the others all sat, the atmosphere was calmer and Ruth smiled sheepishly at her as they walked in.

  “We want in”, Ruth agreed, “We”, she looked at Damien, “We saw the light, we saw the evil, it needs to be stopped”.

  “Why the sudden change of tune?” Ollie asked her.

  “I was confused, I was angry but Damien has made me see sense. We might be able to save the rest of mankind, that’s a duty to all of us in the know. If we didn’t help and you guys failed how could we live with ourselves knowing we could and should have helped?” She told him, “If people could do it for us I would want them to, for everyone else who has survived to live happily then it has to be done”.

  “I cannot guarantee your safety”, Kaley admitted not looking at Stacie as she knew Stacie would click onto why eventually.

  “Safety in this world is not an option anymore”, Damien smiled. “We want to help”.

  “Then welcome to the team”, Ollie smiled, “I think we all need some rest, we still have a long way to go”.

  Everyone agreed to this and took to separate corners of the room. Kaley breathed in Ollie’s scent as they both lay next to one another. She watched as Stacie left the room to take first watch followed by Kian a few moments later, she wondered what Kian made of Stacie being infected and how Stacie would react to him now? She knew Stacie hadn’t trusted him, her heart was so closed to everyone new with the whole infection and past betrayals but Kaley had a good feeling about him for her but she also knew to get Stacie to see that she would have to make someone else close to her look bad… But who could she use to turn Stacie in the right direction… So many things had changed now…

  ~

  I sat on an old office chair with my arms folded over my chest looking out over the dark land of France, it was funny how our world used to be so bright but now it was beyond darkness it was just a never ending gloom. I had only been on watch for a few minutes when the door opened and Kian snuck in, I watched his reflection in the mirrored reflection of the window move towards me.

  “Go get some sleep, I’ll take this shift”, he said softly.

  “I’m fine”.

  “You need sleep too you know”, he then shifted on his feet, “Or do the half infected not need to sleep?”

  I bit my tongue, I wanted to hiss at him for mentioning my infection but maybe he was really only inquiring, “I do need sleep but I have learnt to cope with the most minimal amount possible”.

  Without invitation he sat down beside me, his hair glowing lightly in the moonlight that shone down into the room. He sat there and adjusted his prosthetic limb before turning back to me, “Seems we both have a disability of sorts”.

  I kept my eyes looking out the window, “It’s not a disability, I’m just infected, I’m quicker and stronger than before I’m more than just human and I bet you are too. I bet even though you lost your hand that you didn’t let it hinder you, especially if you worked in security in a place like this facility”.

  He shrugged, “I had no other purpose in life other than to work, it kept me sane”. He paused for a moment then said, “How’d it happened?”

  “What?”

  “How did you get infected?”

  So I told him, all about finding Tanya and losing her straight away, helping Callum in his hour of need, his sister Amanda hurting me and me telling Monique to leave me when the Crusher’s came and everything else. We sat there for hours him just listening to me talk, he never butted in or asked awkward questions he just waited and listened. When I finished I was sobbing, I told him about losing Monique and then Callum being stabbed by Lucas because I had forgotten all about him. I didn’t even notice his arms encircle my shoulders and pull me in closer to hold me.

  I hadn’t realised how tired I was mentally and physically. The tears kept coming and I had no idea when I fell asleep but when I awoke I was on the floor and Kian had draped his jacket over me like a blanket. The sunlight was streaming in through the dirty windows, beaming into my eyes, Kian was still in the room with me, his eyes were fully focused outside to the French land, I couldn’t hear any trouble and I could sense the others were only just stirring in the other room.

  “Anything happen?” I asked sitting up rubbing my eyes.

  Kian shook his head, “Not really, a few creatures wondered past in the night but they didn’t come near us”.

  “The others?”

  “Still asleep I think”, he smiled looking at me, “I thought I would leave them to it”.

  I nodded, “They need it, hell we all do”.

  “I know you certainly did, you were snoring”.

  “I was not”, I defended myself.

  He laughed, “Nah you didn’t but the look on your face was gold, mouth wide open catching flies, dribbling like mad, I’m gonna have to wash my jacket now”.

  I sniffed at him grabbing some water and my toothbrush out my bag. Dental hygiene for all of us back at camp had been a big thing, Doc had ensured everyone kept up with it, after all a simple abscess could kill you in this world. My heart ached a little as I thought of Doc and all the others back at the camp and whether they were still safe and well. It also ached because I hadn’t told Ollie anything about my ‘other condition’ yet and I had promised Doc I would.

  After refreshing myself I went over to the window and looked out, the French horizon was different to ours back home, it just had a different feel to it, the air was different, the smells and the vibe it just didn’t feel like home or Britain, just being over the channel was strange, even without the hum of all the people it was just…Different.

  “Thanks for listening last night”, I said not looking at him.

  “Thanks for telling me, I don’t like not knowing things and I’m glad I know about you. I knew you were different and it wasn’t just learning on the job like you said. And you being infected in my book makes you an even better ally for taking down those assholes”.

  I smiled, “Really? So you don’t mind me and Kaley are both infected? The way you reacted about Kaley before…You know, we kept her alive”.

  He shrugged, “I’ve seen who you both are now, you might be infected but you don’t fight for the infected, you fight for your family. Everyone who is with you. I see now that my immediate opinion was wrong”.

  “It was but then again if I was still human I would probably freak if I found out someone was infected and still talking”.

  He smiled at me, a soft knowing smile. It made me feel a little uncomfortable, “I think together you and Kaley can kick their fucked up butts”.

  “Glad we can be of service”, I meant to say it with ease and a playful tone but it reflected back my awkwardness.

  His eyes stared at me for a moment more, the morning light giving them a soft honey glow, his fair hair glinting in the sun. He came closer to me which made me look up to him a little, he was at least four inches taller than me and as he got closer t
o me he placed his hands on my shoulders and pulled me close to him. I instinctively put my hands up so they pushed on his chest so he couldn’t pull me any closer, I knew and he knew that if I wanted I could force him off me but I let him hold me there for a moment.

  “Let me in”, he whispered.

  “Excuse me?” I asked confused.

  “You don’t have to hide from me Stacie, I want to help you, I can see you are falling apart and you need someone to lean on”.

  “I’m not hiding”.

  “You are deep down inside there is something hiding, something that needs to come out, to clear your head”, he said, “But instead you let it lie low, you never let it out and it will consume you”.

  “I don’t understand? And I don’t think you do either, if you knew what you were implying you wouldn’t tell me to let it out, you would tell me to lock it away forever. If I let ‘it’ out I could kill everyone in a heartbeat by accident”.

  “It needs to come out, the anger you hold inside”, he stated, “If you don’t it will spill out when you least expect it and you could do more damage than good”.

  “What are you going on about?”

  “Whilst you were asleep I checked your bag, I found the antidepressants. I saw you taking something yesterday and I wanted to know what”.

  “You went through my stuff!”

  I tried to pull away from him but he held on tighter, I could feel his force and training behind his exterior although I knew I could hurt him if needed but it made panic rise in my throat, Who would he tell about this? I didn’t want the others to know I wasn’t mentally stable. I needed to get them to Svalbard and if they didn’t fully trust me it wouldn’t happen. I pushed him harder forcing one hand off my shoulder, “Get off me”, I hissed.

  “Let me in, I can help you. I have been through this before, depression I can help”.

  “How, how can you help? You haven’t been turned into a monster Kian, I have. If I lose it I could lose everyone I love and everything I care about and I’m sorry but I am not about to bare all to you”.

  “But you did last night, you told me everything Stacie, you let out some of that steam and I watched you sleep like a baby, I know you needed that, you need a friend, you need me”.

  “I don’t even fucking know you so why would I need you”.

  “I have been there, in that dark place inside. You might think I might not be a monster but I have done some dark things in my life. I have killed people in the army, people who might or might not have attacked me but because there was a threat I killed them anyway. Men, women…children”.

  The word children made a noise come out of my throat like a whimper.

  “The old wars were different to this one Stacie, they trained children to kill, to protect my people I had to do things that haunt me every night. When I left the army I did security jobs but I nearly ended up in prison because of what went on in my head. The depression, the trauma, the anxiety all caught up with me and I beat a man nearly to death over something silly. I only got away with it because the people at the facility head hunted me down and took me away just before this all went to shit. I was given a second chance by those assholes when really I should have rotted away in a jail cell but I see it was because I was meant to find people to help me stop them, to repent for my sins. You are not a monster Stacie, not like me. You haven’t killed for the sake of killing, you kill to survive, to keep your loved ones safe. You are not a monster”.

  “But I am…I have…I…I ate a…”

  Just before I could finish Ollie opened the door and smiled as he saw Kian still had a hold of me, to him it would probably look innocent but to me…this was a nightmare.

  “Hey guys just wondered when we were all leaving?”

  “Now! Now would be good”, I said and stepped away from Kian, I grabbed my bag and walked out to find Cain. I found him sitting with Kaley chatting about something, “Hey squirt you ready to go”.

  “Sure am”, he grinned.

  After making sure he had eaten something substantial we left the office building and ventured off following road signs and our map, Cain stood with me near the front of the pack looking out, Kaley had a death grip on Ollie’s arm like she was never going to let him go. Kian walked just behind me, his gun held loosely at his side always ready for action, the army man, the so-called monster inside him always at the ready. Dwayne, Damien and Ruth walked with Lara talking about how life used to be, then it was Kirsty and Mac, both of them gossiping about something they had been talking about last night, an old television show of some sort.

  As we walked I looked over at Ollie and Kaley, Kaley was acting really strange jumping at every noise loud or quiet, she was keeping lookout over everyone’s shoulder and at one point she made everything around us levitate with anxiety as we checked the map. Her nerves giving in and making the world shudder as everything dropped back down to Earth with a thud.

  Worrying a little I took her arm from Ollie and pulled her to one side, Ollie instinctively took point with Cain.

  “Everything ok Kaley?” I asked quietly, if something was bugging her I didn’t want everyone freaking out over it if they heard us.

  She didn’t answer right away, she mulled over her reply before saying, “Let him in Stacie but ‘Don’t’ let him break your heart”.

  “What?”

  “Kian, you can let him in but don’t let him break you”.

  I stopped and looked at her, “What do you mean? Do you know something I need to know?”

  She shrugged, “I love Ollie with all my heart Stacie you know that”.

  “Right? You’re not making sense?”

  “But we can never really be, together. I’m infected, he’s not. I could never kiss him, we could never have children because it would kill him and possibly me and well…It would just be wrong”.

  “Ok”.

  “Well it’s the same for you two, you could never truly love him and be with him Stacie. You’re infected and being with him would kill him too, just like Ollie… But he could make a great friend to you like Ollie is to me just don’t let his heart over power and break yours, not again”.

  “You’re not killing Ollie though Kaley? And I’m not falling for Kian,” I breathed.

  “Not yet but I just want you to be careful, I’d hate for him to hurt you and blame everything on you because of your infection…” Kaley paused before shaking her head and holding her hands up to it, “Things are out of my control Stacie but you need him”.

  “Kaley you’re scaring me now, I have no idea what you are trying to say”.

  “Things are going to happen soon that I cannot stop, I cannot change, I cannot control. They will happen whatever I do, I need you to know this”.

  “Kaley”, but she didn’t want to say anymore, she just stood up tall and carried on walking.

  I turned to look at Ollie and Cain walking and laughing together, their defences down but their weapons ready just in case. Their faces full of life and love, what was Kaley worried about? What had she seen? And what the hell did she mean? Looking at Ollie I began to worry, I couldn’t lose him, he was like a brother to me and I had only just got them back, him and Cain. I couldn’t lose anyone else, I just couldn’t.

  Chapter Eight…

  Ollie shivered as he and Sian slept in the old hospital ventilation tunnels. They had made it to the hospital the night before and met the infamous Doctor Death who had been just as crazy as the crazy monsters outside. They had tried to leave but the strange doctor was at every exit when they tried to make an escape. Sian decided it was best to stay put for a while and rest, they were safe inside the tunnels, they were warm and had some food but there was still the screams and wild noises that echoed around, some from the monsters, some from the doctor himself.

  Sian was still asleep, it was funny she didn’t know it but she fell into a deep sleep sometimes and when she did Ollie liked to explore, not far in case she did wake up but far enough that he knew he co
uld do things if she couldn’t, that he could take charge if he had to. At their block of flats, he had explored most of the old tenants homes looking at old photos, eating stale food and playing with un-played toys, he knew the whole block like the back of his tiny hand but the hospital was all new and needed to be explored.

  This time he had crawled through a ventilation tunnel that they hadn’t wondered into yet, they were pretty high up in the grand scale of the hospital, near the very top. There was a hum of electricity in the air and bleeps of old machines which was odd to hear as electricity had not been on at his home for what felt like an age. He went to a small vent cover and peered out, this floor was strange he could see lots of woman in hospital beds, all with fat bellies attached to the beeping machines.

  Then he heard the footsteps, freezing on the spot and holding his breath he carried on looking, unable to move, frozen on the spot in case the crazy doctor saw him.

  The doctor appeared, carrying someone over his shoulder, it was a girl with long blonde hair. She was unconscious and covered in dust but still alive as he could make out her breathing, her arms swaying side by side as he walked before he finally laid her down on the bed. Ollie watched as the crazy doctor undressed her and cleaned all the dust off before drawing strange lines over her abdomen then dressing her in a hospital gown leaving her dusty clothes on a chair.

  “Soon you will be the mother of my army, you look strong and have survived on little food, all good to breed with his DNA, he too was strong but not strong enough for me. He fought hard you know sweetheart. Saw me coming in the tunnel as he tried to rouse you from your slumber, punched me in the face too when I told him my plans. But it didn’t take much to take him down and now he is one of my army too and soon to be your baby’s father. Not that either of you will know or understand by the end of the nine months. You might survive but I doubt it but your body parts can be used again to build another great machine”.